Prom Queen

Ahhhhh.... Springtime!  Springtime means prom time.  I was just reading an article in WSJ about today's proms and how insanely expensive they've become and I realized how simple prom was years ago.  Of course, everything was simple years ago.  Well, retrospectively speaking.  Once upon a time, long, long ago I found myself in the middle of one of my lies.   Shocked, aren't you.  Remember I told you my sister and I are professional liars to our mother?  This story began with a lie to my mother, then turned into a lie to my friends.  Somehow, someway that I now cannot remember, a whopper of a lie came out of my mouth that I was the only 10th grade girl invited to the prom.  Usually, 10th grade girls at my school were not invited because.... well, let's just say they weren't quite good enough to be seen with the 11th and 12th grade guys.  I reckon it would have sort of been saying, "I couldn't get a date with a girl in my grade."  It just wasn't done.  That apparently didn't stop me from shooting off my mouth and declaring I was going.  My mother asked me just who was taking me. (She was all over insisting knowing everyone who visited our house and their entire pedigree.)  I remember stumbling, fumbling around about the lucky guy.  Crap, I was such a liar I probably made up a name but it wasn't long after that she was taking me to look at prom dresses and shoes.  And I went right along with it!  By this time, I was so caught up in the lie that I was actually believing it and I began telling my friends I was going to the prom, but I kept them guessing about the oh so lucky boy.  The dress and shoes were purchased, the time passed and the day before prom night arrived and I was beginning to shake in my shoes.  YIKES!  How was I going to get out of this?  I was sweating bullets, trying to figure out what kind of lie was going to get me out of this insane situation.  And then the heavens opened.  Really, really opened.  A 12th grade guy called the house, apologized for the last minute invitation, and asked me to the prom.  Whoaaaa.... Did I ever escape public humiliation AND the wrath of my mother!!!  I could NOT believe my luck.  I attended the prom, and went to a very nice after prom party, but I did not have a good time because everyone there was an upperclassman and I didn't know them very well.  The hosts parents must have felt sorry for me because as the partygoers were having fun with each other, I was sitting on the steps with the host's mom, talking.   I think about this crazy situation every now and then.  I think about all the lessons to be learned.  Here's the biggest lesson - lie to mom, not the friends.  And always have a fancy dress handy, because you never know when you're going to be asked to go somewhere special.

"I Got All My Sisters with Me"

My sister and I share many things.  We're both gorgeous, super intelligent, hilarious, fun to be with, superb cooks, and unicorn trainers.  :-)   Actually, we both think the other is hilarious, we love our grandchildren as much as our children, we drive within the lines, and we try to be good daughters - like that's ever going to happen....  My sister and I shared a bed for about 4 years when we were children and we got into some shenanigan troubles because of it.  We must have heard "If I have to come in there one more time, you're both going to get it!" hundreds of times.  I don't remember "getting it."  Of course, that's because we were "getting it" in some form or another every day.  I think I've revealed earlier that our mother was a screamer.  An hours long screamer.  Not a few hours, but many, many hours.  Seven, eight hours sometimes.  That was a good day for her.  One time, when we were older, my sister came into my room and said, "I wish she would beat us to death.  Maybe she would stop screaming if we were dead."  Nah.  She would find someone else to scream at.  Of course, she has been suffering personal demons all her life.  Now that we're older, we have come to understand what's behind the screaming, and it taught us to not scream at our kids.  In the house of our childhood, there were many "don't do this when you get older" moments and we learned them well.  Sometimes, instead of becoming that crazy person who is front and center in your life, you learn to watch carefully and do the opposite.  If you're a Seinfeld fan, you will remember George's opposite episode.  That's what my sister and I did.  Well, 12 years of therapy didn't hurt, either.  Soooooo, in addition to operating in opposite mode, one of our survival skills was a good sense of humor.  We love to laugh and we laugh a lot, even when things are down, really down, we can find some humor in it.  And I think that's a gift.  It has allowed me to get through some very hard times in life.  It's done the same for my sister, although I must say the enjoyment she gets from watching people fall down can sometimes make others thinks she's an uncaring psycho.  Hey!  Most of you enjoy a good fall, too, so don't judge!  Honestly, if she happened to be present during your fall, she would rush to help you up - after she hee hawed like a donkey for a few minutes.  This painting is in honor of my sister because we both reeeeely, reeeeely enjoy bizarre things.  And this is fairly whack.  

Springtime

Here we are in April - one of the most beautiful months in the calendar.  It's soooo green and pretty here.  All the daffodils have bloomed and are on the way out.  The tulips are here now and the dogwood and redbud trees and other flowering trees are blooming.  All the  non-flowering trees are budding and it's just gorgeous here in Central Virginia.  As I've stated before, springtime is my favorite time of year and it brings back many memories dear to my heart.  One outstanding spring memory is our 6th grade patrol trip to Washington, DC.  Some of you reading this also took that trip.  Some were with me and some were with other schools.  The patrol trip was the reward given for your hard work as a school patrol and the highlight of the 6th grade.  It was also a learning event, as we visited every monument in DC you can cram into 48 hours.  It was a three day event that covered every possible historic site between Charleston, WV, and DC.  We visited Monticello (little did I know then I would live my life at the foot of Jefferson's house) and I remember the guide showing us Monticello on the nickel.  We visited Endless Caverns and I remember it was freezing, therefore ending any more travels underground.    But the most outstanding memory of DC was the very wide, white , meticulously cared for sidewalks and the significance they conveyed to my 11 year old mind.  They were national sidewalks, therefore, they were better than my state capital city sidewalks.  They bore the weight of people from all over the world AND their dirty shoes and spilled food, and yet they gleamed and sparkled.  They seemed to go on forever.  No matter where we walked, those wide, sparkling sidewalks adjacent to the large, magnificent buildings never ended.  I was mesmerized.  This was what people in that powerful, fabulous city deserved - the very best sidewalks in the world.  We were so lucky to be walking those shimmering sidewalks.  This city was Oz!!  It glittered like Oz!  We walked in a line, double file to our destination.  Our leader called, "HALT!" and we stopped.  We were waiting for the stop light to allow us to cross the street.  Still infatuated with the big city, I turned around to see where we had been, and standing there was a sight I'll never forget - a drunken man, urinating on the splendid sidewalks of the capital of the United States.  As I've grown into an old lady, I have indeed learned that DC is Oz, but not the Oz of the 11 year old.  It's still beautiful and we still love going there, but always, always, watch your step.  You never know what's on the sidewalk.  And that's true everywhere.

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

Just returned from a fabulous trip to see the grandtoddler and his parents.  Anyone who is a grandparent knows the joy/love/excitement/non-stop fun that visit brings.  And it's welcomed!!  I would love to see him every day, but right now, that's not possible.  We're just thankful for Delta.  Direct flights 4 times a day from our town to their's.  Works out wonderfully.  One of the activities we enjoyed while we were visiting was an Easter egg hunt.  All the children were gathered together and told that the 5 and under group would have a head start.  Enjoy it, Sweetie Pie.  All too soon you'll be waiting with the other older kids.  All the kids were in their "start" positions, waiting to hear the whistle blow.  The large yard was covered with eggs.  The woods at the edge of the yard was covered with eggs.  The raised beds were covered with eggs.  The whistle blew and the little ones scrambled onto the grass with their baskets, buckets and bags.  A few inches into the yard, they were picking up eggs as quickly as they could.  But not Sweetie Pie.  Sweetie Pie ran as fast as he could across the entire yard and into the woods to retrieve a pink egg.  These days, his favorite colors are pink and purple.  Throughout the entire hunt, he would only pick up the pink eggs he came across.  Like most toddlers, he has distinct preferences.  I don't remember being a toddler, but I do remember attending an Easter egg hunt when I was in kindergarten.  It was magical.  The eggs weren't spread across a yard as they are these days.  They were really hidden and we had to look hard for them.  I remember the excitement I felt as I found a few eggs.  And, by the way, the eggs were real eggs, not plastic.  There was a special egg that was gold.  If you were lucky enough to find that egg, you won a huge Easter basket full of Easter treats.  I'm sure the parent of the winner was thrilled to see more candy coming into the house.  We held Easter egg hunts for our kids as they were growing up, but one memorable hunt was when the kids were adults.  My sister and her family were visiting and we decided to have an egg hunt for our kids.  Early in the day, we hid the eggs and after lunch, we announced it was time for the Easter egg hunt.  Oh my gosh, the groans and whines and eye rolling was unbelievable, until we announced there was a 20 dollar bill hidden inside a plastic egg!  They almost tore down the front door in an effort to get outside.  That was a fun hunt.  I don't remember the winner, but I'll always remember the event.  Easter is Sunday.  I hope this day offers you hope, renewal, and new life.