Long, long ago, in a far away world, there lived a woman who did not know how to sit and enjoy life. She could only work on household chores. If she couldn't find an obvious chore to do, she would create one. She cleaned every single day. She dusted, vacuumed, mopped, washed, scrubbed, scraped, whisked, whooshed, think of any work word and that's how she occupied her days. From morning until late afternoon, she cleaned. Her house shined and shined and sparkled and looked perfect. She took time off every day to cook and bake, but she cleaned even as she worked in the kitchen. And she talked on the phone for hours. But yet she cleaned. She had two daughters who weren't allowed to clean, because they couldn't possibly do it to her satisfaction, but they were allowed to do some odd chores. The older daughter had the responsibility of waxing the living room wood furniture every Saturday morning and cleaning the fixtures in one of the bathrooms that same day. The younger daughter was given the chore of stripping the bed linens and putting them in the wash. They were also allowed to wash and dry the supper dishes (once upon a time, there were no dishwashers). The daughters had to attend school during the week and church on Sunday, so Saturday was the one day they could get in a few extra winks. But not in that house. The older daughter would be startled awake by the vacuum - not in another part of the house, but slamming up against her bed headboard at 7:30 every Saturday morning. Bang, bang, bang!!!!! Unfortunately, the younger daughter slept in another room and unwisely decided to pretend not to hear the vacuum, so the wicked mother threw cold, wet washcloths on her face. Yowza!!!! The younger sister would jump out of her skin!!! This scenario continued every Saturday morning for the longest time. Like years. The sisters each had separate incidences where they helped friends clean their homes, and stupidly told the wicked mother. The mother then began one of her famous 5-6 hour tirades on laziness, which made no sense to the daughters because they weren't so lazy, they were just not allowed to perform those jobs in their own home. The mother was famous for her hours long wild, out of control tirades. These tirades also involved throwing anything within grabbing distance. The daughters learned to duck and hide frequently, but they couldn't escape the screaming. And the screaming would generally revolve around the same topics - laziness, laziness, and laziness. Every now and then, another topic plucked from thin air would be addressed, but usually it was some form of laziness on the sisters part. So when the two sisters grew up, they decided they would never ever allow housework to rule their lives. Even though they like their houses to be clean, they realized life has too many fun things to offer. They realized there are beautiful days out there and they wouldn't live forever. They realized you could pay people to clean your home. But the biggest lesson they learned was to never, ever scream at people, because when you scream for hours on end, you really do lose your voice.
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